Creative Hockey: on the Ice, in the Field and in Quotations

The Lighter Side of Hockey

A puck is a hard rubber disc that hockey players strike when they can't hit one another.  --Jimmy Cannon

American professional athletes are bilingual; they speak English and profanity --Gordie Howe

Bridge is the only game that bruises more shins than hockey. --

By the age of 18, the average American has witnessed 200,000 acts of violence on television, most of them occurring during Game 1 of the NHL playoff series.  --Steve Rushin

Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. --Pierre Trudeau

Hockey would be a great game... if played in the mud. --Jimmy Cannon

How would you like a job where, if you made a mistake, a big red light goes on and 18,000 people boo? --Jacques Plante

Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept.  --Doug Larson

No, I never broke my nose playing ice hockey; but eleven other guys did. --Gordie Howe

Playing goal is like being shot at. --Jacques Plante

Some guys play hockey. Gretzky plays 40mph chess. --Lowell Cohn

The only way you can check Gretzky is to hit him when he is standing still singing the national anthem. --Harry Sinden

There was a hockey player who failed as a chef specializing in birthday cakes. He was always called for icing. --

They say atomic radiation can hurt your reproductive organs. My answer is, so can a hockey stick. But we don't stop building them. --

They were checking us so closely, I could tell what brand of deodorant they were using. --Flyer Gary Dornhoefer

We get nose jobs all the time in the NHL, and we don't even have to go to the hospital.  --Brad Park

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